He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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