I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
