Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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