I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
