let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
