According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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