i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
