so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize