I just made out with a guy for $7.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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