dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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