wanna go halves on a baby?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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