Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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