Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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