The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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