I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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