Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
