I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize