Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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