margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My bed smells like the plague
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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