Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
