just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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