The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
