There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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