Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
