As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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