Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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