Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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