he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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