Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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