My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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