whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
