no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
