what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
