I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
