The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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