id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
