I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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