This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
