When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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