Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
