You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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