i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
