Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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