omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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