what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize