hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
