Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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