He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
