Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
