Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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