she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
