Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
