He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
