I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
