You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
