So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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