and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
