Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
