Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i think my cat just said my name.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
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