i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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