You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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