i was born a porn star she said
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
