Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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