I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize