I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
