How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize