in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
